When I’m in it
I’m transparent
Surrounded by a terrifying abyss
A lost world
And a lost cause
A fear waiting to pop out
To show its ugly head
And maybe bite mine off
To suck me into a black hole where I become spaghettified
Spaghettification: where I’m no longer whole but long
Long and noddle-y
Like the notes that have no direction in a song
I become directionless
Forever gone
Never again to find my ankle-deep
Where I feel safe
Weightless on the surface
Peering down to miniature cities and fish eyes
Conch cross-roads and fans
And little homes and sea junk
And statues of memories looking up wanting to touch
To reach up and be touched
Solid stone mermaids waiting for solitude so they can be alive again
And pearls hidden and found then lost
And lions devouring the innocent
hiding with the guilty with a memory like mine
Never forgetting my last attempt to capture and devour
I am the predator in the shallow
In the deep I am prey
Teetering on the edge of fear
dancing with my spirit and touching God
On the edge of the abyss I touched God
I touched creation
And love
And depth disappeared
No more shallow
no more black holes
Just blue colourful blurs and space
Presence and pure existence
A capture of myself
Only the sound of cardiac cycles and aquatic respiration
Transparent and one
Liquid and solid
Reaching out to be touched
God looked at me and we danced
Forever in a minute
A century
In the bloody bay of my home
My childhood
My present and my future
No more depth
perception
perspective or deception
Just a transparent miracle
A pure moment
A water gift
A gift from God
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