One a Days

I was poised and ready.
I had one sock off and in hand.
I had made the decision.
I was going to do it;
I had no choice.
My intestines fully tensed
and ready to expel their dark passenger.
I look up 
only to see...

What the fuck could I do?
I pulled up my pants,
scrambled over a fence,
and took my dump in a legal zone.
RESPECT THE SIGNS
THEY MEAN BUSINESS.